The Urban Legend:


Jake and Trisha were excited. It was their 5th anniversary and the first one they would get to celebrate in style. They had married right out of highschool and Trisha gave birth to a bouncing baby boy 11 months later. Little Jake was soon followed by Belinda. Jake hated the feel of condoms and Trisha was breastfeeding.. and refused to use the Pill since they could interfere with her supply. Once too often Jake had removed his rubber and "pulled out".

Trisha tried to get her tubes tied then but her Ob/Gyn refused to do a tubal on a 21 year old. So then they used birth control pills in an attempt to keep their family small. But Lady Luck frowned upon them. A terrible case of Strep had Trisha eating antibiotics which caused her bc to fail. They all loved baby Huey, but as a struggling family of five, there were times both Trisha and Jake privately cursed his conception.

All day Trisha had pampered herself, in between cleaning up after 3 year old Belinda's usual chaos and Huey's demands to be held. She had her nails done and her hair styled by her best friend and neighbor, Rochelle. A two piece ensemble helped hide the wreck her youthful body had become after 3 pregnancies.

She was just dabbing some knock-off "White Linen" behind her ears when Jake came in the door. A quick kiss and then he ran upstairs to clean up from a hard day's work. Trisha threw a new video into the VCR and placed her offspring in front of it. Squeals of delight rang out as the opening credits ran.

Upstairs, Jake had finished showering and shaving He started putting on his suit. It was a bit small as he hadn't worn it for about 3 years, the last time being when his Uncle Eddy had passed away. The shirt collar was a bit narrow, so he left the top button undone. The tie didn't reach as far down as it used to, but it was the only one he had. His jacket was a bit snug so he left it open. The pants were fine, as long as he wore them lower than normal. At least his shoes were still shiny and new!

Jake worked hard for a living and was very proud to be able to keep his large family at a decent level of comfort. Regular bonuses and raises kept them from the poorhouse, but just only. He had saved up all year for this night. He loved Trisha so much. It was hard to believe that the prettiest girl in school had chosen to marry him. Sure,he had been on the football team, but he had only been a tightend. Trisha used to tease him it was his tightend that had sealed her heart to his.

A small smile played across Jake's lips as he remembered her saying that. It had been a long time since he last heard it.

"Jake.. come on!"

The doorbell rang and Jake figured it was the babysitter. Rochelle's niece, Lisa, was watching the kids for them tonite. She was out visiting for the Summer and had jumped at the chance of earning some serious cash.

"Hi, Lisa! Come on in!" Trisha was getting so excited. It had been so long since just Jake and her had went on a date. "The kids are watching a video, so let's go into the kitchen and do a checklist, shall we?"

"Sure thing, Mrs.Long." Lisa had a big smile plastered on her face as her eyes wandered the rooms.

"Ok, here's Jake's cellphone number, the restaurant we'll be at, and here's the theater's number. We'll be seeing 'Critters'." For just a moment a small frown crossed Trisha's face. She had had her heart set on going to see a musical, a real one. But Jake wouldn't budge. She shrugged slightly, better 'Critters' than 'Troop 6'. "There's a casserole in the oven. I set the timer so just pull it out when it goes off. Let it cool a bit before serving it. Baby Huey gets a teensy bit, mainly to play with."

She went to the fridge and opened it, grabbing a bottle out. "This is breastmilk, so don't use the microwave to heat it. Just run some hot water over it. This stuff is liquid gold because I can't pump much. Huey gets this after dinner and there's a second and third bottle in the fridge. One for bedtime and one in case he wakes before we get home."

Trisha tapped her her chin, trying to remember what eslse to tell Lisa. "Oh, yeah. Belinda usually goes to sleep at 7:30, Huey whenever he crashes and Lil' Jake goes to bed no later than 9:00. You won't need to bathe them. If Huey or Belinda gets too messy just use babywipes on them. Oh! I almost forgot!"

She strode back towards the livingroom with Lisa trailing behind. "Here's Huey's diaper bag. Be sure to put this cream on him. He gets rashy so quickly."

Jake came down the stairs and gave Trisha a big smile. His eyes scanned Lisa but dismissed her as too scrawny and scraggly. "I'm ready and the reservations are in 20 minutes.. so let's scoot!"

Both parents quickly kissed their offspring who barely noticed. They were too enthralled with the flickering animation which was really just one big ad.

As they headed out the door Jake called back " We should be home no later than Midnight.. unless I can convince Trisha to stop for a drink. Then it might be a wee bit later"

"No problem! take your time!" Lisa said oh so cheerily.

As soon as the car backed out of the drive and sped on its way she flopped in an easy chair and blew out a huge sigh.

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